Thursday, January 31, 2013

Marriage

Sometimes marriage is kind of hard.

Right before I got married, I had a dear [married] friend tell me "Victoria, you and Heath are going to fight a lot when you first get married. And that's okay. You are both adjusting to living with someone else and trying to figure things out and if you fight a lot, it doesn't mean you shouldn't have gotten married. It's normal."

And I remember thinking to myself, No, we have known each other for a long time and we have seen each other at our worst. We are going to be so happy and never fight! 

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Okay I don't know what I was thinking... Seriously. Not that H and I fight 24/7, and not that we aren't happy..... But yeah. We fight. A lot more than I originally thought. And most of the time, it isn't ever anything big. Most of the time it's little disagreements where we get mad at each other and then 5 seconds later we are apologizing and making up.

I guess I forgot to put into account that 1. I am extremely sensitive and emotional, and 2. He's a boy. Seriously--most of the time when we're "fighting" I'll say something like "I'm mad that we're fighting again" and H will be like, "Wait, we're fighting?" Boys, I swear...

Like I said earlier, most of our fights are because I'm overly sensitive and H isn't. Take last night for instance.... We are sitting in bed, and I am eating top ramen while H is trying to figure out how to log into our Verizon account. He doesn't know our zip code.

V: How do you not know our zip code?
H: I don't know... What is it?
V: Wow, for someone so smart, you can be kind of stupid sometimes. [Yes, I admit... I probably shouldn't have said that. But he seriously always knows everything. And really, it baffles me that someone wouldn't know their own zip code!]
*Silence*
And then I proceeded to drop my brand new iPhone 5 into my bowl of ramen. And H rolled his eyes and I picked it up, and all the juice was dripping off of it... and then I dropped it in the bowl of ramen... again. At which point H says, "Oh, and you're calling me stupid?" [Totally deserved that one.]
And then I stormed out of the room mad and washed off my phone. And when I came back, I faced the wall [instead of him] and sighed angrily every 5 seconds until I fell asleep. WHICH YOU SHOULD NEVER DO.

And then about 20 minutes later, I wake up to H snuggling up behind me and kissing me, saying he's sorry. And then I apologized, and everything was magically all better.

So yeah... H and I have little fights all the time. And sometimes it makes me sad and sometimes I look at other married couples and think Oh, I bet they never fight! and guess what? I'm wrong. It's normal. And it doesn't mean you don't love each other or that you have a bad marriage. Because I know for a fact that H and I have an amazing marriage. I just happen to be extremely sensitive about everything!

I don't think it matters if you and your spouse/significant other fight, or how often you fight... I think what's really important is what happens after the fight. I think that in any relationship, it's important for you to be able to let go of your pride and admit you are wrong. Before I met H, I had a hard time admitting I was wrong. I was prideful. But when H and I were dating and engaged, I had to learn to apologize first. [Because most of the time, what we were fighting about was my fault. Or because he didn't even know we were fighting...haha]

One of my favorite quotes is this:

This is something that I have to remember every day in my marriage. Yeah, H and I will probably argue about little things for the rest of our lives, but it doesn't mean that we don't love each other. And if we can learn to forgive and forget easily, our lives will be so much happier.

Anyway.

I'm no expert on marriage, but this is something that I feel very strongly about, so I thought I'd share!

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Oh, and PS--

I need to talk about my amazing new blog design! Rylee Blake spruced up my blog and I am so excited about it! [Now some of you may judge me for paying someone to do this for me, but HEY. I seriously tried for so long and watched/read so many tutorials, but I could never get it exactly the way I wanted it! So I felt totally justified in paying someone to make it perfect. And I personally felt like it was affordable, too!] Her services and pricing are listed here. [And she even has some awesome tutorials!]
Thanks so much Rylee! :)

Thursday, January 17, 2013

This One's For the Girls...

Okay guys. So I know I'm old and married and all you single people probably don't really care about my love advice [except, oh wait... I'm the one that's married...] buuuuuuut I was doing some blog stalking the other day, and I came across this post. [Trust me...you should all read it.] 

[This is one of the quotes from her post.] 

"He never took me on official dates, and he never held my hand or kissed me or did all the usual things a boy would do if he has feelings for a girl. But I told myself he would come around. I just needed to be patient, right? And maybe he was shy? And maybe he took out other girls (and not me) because he was intimidated by me and those other girls were safe...?"

This is all too familiar, right? We've all been there before. We can all relate. Boys kind of suck sometimes. They lead you on; they break your heart. They say they'll call or text, so you sit by your phone all night waiting, checking it every 5 seconds because you "think you felt it vibrate."  They say "oh hey we should hang out this weekend" so you get all dressed up and sit there, waiting, rejecting any other offers, just in case they call you. [which...they never do.] They flirt with you like crazy, but don't ever ask you out on a date. WHAT IS THIS? Why are the brains' of the male species programmed so differently than ours? 

Trust me. I have been there. Too many times. 

But as I was reading this post, I thought back on mine and H's relationship. I'm sure many of you have heard about the beginning stages of our relationship. [Some of you were even there to experience it with me!]

H has always been on the quiet side. He is very reserved and likes to keep to himself. I, on the other hand, am pretty much on the opposite side of the spectrum. I have always been loud and outgoing and very forward. [Sometimes even to a fault.] But you know what they say: opposites attract. The second I saw him, I wanted to get to know him. But once my friends told me that he was really shy and never took girls out on dates, only one thought crossed my mind: challenge accepted. Seriously. From there on out it was Game On. 

Have you ever seen He's Just Not That Into You? Where the girl just takes everything the wrong way, and twists everything in her mind to convince herself that the guy likes her? And basically stalks him and thinks it's cute but really it's just creepy?

THAT WAS ME.

Guys, seriously. I am almost embarrassed to admit how much of a stalker I was. But for the sake of this blog post, I will be completely honest. I stalked. Like, we're talking hard core. As in going through his pictures on Facebook over and over again. As in commenting on his pictures and then deleting it really quick, so he would get the notification but not see anything, and then hopefully he would think about me enough to text me? [Don't ask me where that logic came from. OH WAIT: Morgan Bagley Gillespie!]* As in driving out of my way to drive past places I thought he might be. As in texting him one night inviting him to hang out, and then when he didn't reply, I'd just go ahead and text him the next night too. And the next. And the next. Seriously. The ratio of texts I sent him to texts he sent me was probably 15:1. It's embarrassing to think about. But at the time, I would always justify my actions. When my friends would tell me that he wasn't into me and that I needed to move on, I would tell myself they were wrong. That he just needed time because he was so shy. That he was intimidated by me. That eventually he would want me. So I was persistent. And I was available.

And you know what? Eventually he started taking me on dates. And we would "date" for a week or two. And then he would break up with me to "figure things out" or to "date other people." Okay, this whole breaking up with me and then getting back together thing went on for 5 months. 5 MONTHS PEOPLE. And I remember so many of my friends telling me countless times that I needed to give up, and that I should move on. But I could never do it. I was holding onto this man that I was hopelessly in love with, in the hopes that one day he would love me as much as I loved him. 

I remember though, the very last time that we broke up. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was after church cleaning, and he walked me out to the benches behind the church building. I told him that I didn't like not knowing how he felt. That I was in love with him, but that I didn't want to be with him if he didn't want to be with me. 

And you know what happened next? He told me that we needed to break up. For good.

I remember my heart dropping into my stomach. I remember fighting back the tears, because I didn't want him to know how much it killed me. I remember smiling at him and saying "okay" and then standing up to leave. I remember him hugging me tight, and I remember not wanting to ever let him go. I remember watching him walk to his car, and I remember getting into my own car, and bursting into tears the second I shut the door.

And then I had a very long conversation with some friends about how I should never be anyone's backup plan. That I should be their priority. That I shouldn't have to fight so hard for someone's love or attention. That I deserved to be treated like a queen and that I should never settle for anything less.

That week, I really took those words and lessons to heart. I went on 2 dates with other guys. I tried not to pay attention to anything H did. When he would text me to see how I was doing, I wouldn't reply. When I saw him at church or FHE, I would ignore him. I would focus on other things and other people, and act as if my heart wasn't breaking every single time I saw him or thought of him.  

AND THEN GUESS WHAT HAPPENED?

That week that he broke up with me, he texted me like 5 times! [HA! Now look at that texting ratio, people!] And one day, I got a text from him asking me to meet up with him to talk. And long story short, he told me that he realized that he was in love me and that he didn't want to ever live without me.

And now here I am, married to the love of my life, and guess what? He is completely in love with me. And it is the most amazing feeling in the entire world. And even if he didn't tell me all the time how much he loves me, I would be able to tell from the way he looks at me and the way he treats me. It really is the best. And remember how at the beginning I said "challenge accepted?" Well I definitely won this one. ;)

So yeah, I totally agree with that other blog post. I don't think you should fall so hard for someone and be so persistent that you are basically just trying to change their mind, even when you know it's not going to happen. Because you really don't want to have to convince someone to love you. And because 9.8 times out of 10, you're going to get hurt. [Because boys are stupid. And they suck.] 

But I do think there is an exception to the rule. I am the exception to the rule. Yes, I was persistent and annoying [and a stalker to the max] and sometimes I even felt like I was trying to convince him... but you know what? I can honestly say that I never once thought to myself that it wasn't going to work out. Now, that's not to say that I didn't get my hopes up way too many times just to get my heart broken... But somehow, I always knew that it would work out. That's why I stuck around for so long and never gave up. 

I have always known it was him...

And if that's the reason you are sticking around, then good for you. But if you're just sticking around because you like the chase [YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE] then please. I beg of you. Just stop. Before you get hurt. [Or before you hurt yourself even more.]

xoxo,
Victoria Farnsworth

*Once H and I were engaged, he told me that every time he gets a notification, it goes to his email. So when I "cleverly" commented on his picture [something about him being the best] [kill me now?] and then deleted it right away, he still got an email telling him exactly what I said. Awkward.


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Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Honeymoon

For Christmas this year [technically last year], my parents planned a trip to DisneyWorld for our family in March. I am so beyond excited, and today as I was thinking about it, I couldn't help but reminisce on my honeymoon. [H and I went to Disneyland on our honeymoon just a few months ago!] I looked through all of the pictures we took on our honeymoon, and saying I was nostalgic would be an understatement. So I decided that I would blog about it tonight.

Our honeymoon was seriously amazing. The best week of my life. Disneyland is one of my favorite places in the world, so being there with my favorite person in the world was so extremely perfect. I wouldn't have changed one single second of it.

As I sit here, trying to put our honeymoon experience into words, I somehow come up short. It was such a romantic and special experience, that I almost don't want to share any part of it with anyone! But we had so much fun, that I can't not share at least something.

H + V Honeymoon [from my iPhone]









[This was the best restaurant in Disneyland, hands down! Rancho del Zocalo. We went there two days in a row and got the exact same thing. I'm drooling just looking at this picture. Seriously. H and I talk about going back to Disneyland just for that restaurant all the time. Try it next time--you will not be disappointed.]



 [Awkward hand shot... But I just love seeing that ring on his finger! Seriously one of my favorite things.]


[Our last night in California, we drove out to Balboa Island [near Newport Beach] in search of a Village Inn, and instead found a cute little Italian bistro called Ciao. It was H's favorite. We also want to go back there again some day.]

Well anyway, that's enough Honeymoon talk for now.... ;)

xoxo
Victoria Farnsworth

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Happy New Year

So remember that one time that I said I was going to blog more? And then went a whole month without another blog post? Well yeah, that was kind of awkward. But don't you worry... I'm sure I'll have a lot more time to blog in the near future.
Everything has been crazy the past month, and it seemed as if Christmas and New Years came and went in a flash. But it sure was great! I loved getting married in November, because I got to spend the holidays married to Heath. And he sure just makes everything better. :)

Anyway, here are a few A LOT of pictures from this past month.


When I attempted to do an outfit post. H took the pictures, but it was kind of an awkward experience, we didn't have that good of a background, and I never ended up posting them. [Until now.] Maybe one day.



Classy Christmas Eve at my parent's house. 
[Please excuse all of the metal chairs. I don't think we've ever had enough chairs to accommodate our huge family.]









When the cutest girl runs around in her diaper and boots!


And of course, it wouldn't be Christmas without the kids reenacting the Nativity. I sure love these cute sheep, angels, and wise men! :)





Just taking pictures with H.



So happy that Richie was down for Christmas! 


When this:
Turns into this:


When all of my nieces want to sit on Heath's lap because "he is so handsome." 
[Oh yeah he is! And trust me, I like sitting on his lap too!] 


We spent the night at my parent's house, and had Christmas Morning with my family.



Christmas Afternoon with the Farnsworths!




 Finally got a picture with the 4 of us! [Heath's twin brother Grant, and his wife Danielle.]
And PS: No judgement on mine and H's matching shirts. Before we went to his Grandparent's house, we were given the family shirt and told to wear it. [Apparently no one else got the memo... Awkward.]



G & D. Love this picture. They should definitely have a baby soon keep waiting. Come on, a year is long enough, right? Not that I'm pressuring them or anything; I just think they would have one gorgeous baby! Am I right or am I right?



And of course, New Year's Eve at H's Grandparent's house.
Fun fact: Last New Years, H and I were still off an on. [Off at that particular moment.] But I had seen pictures of this tradition on Facebook [yes, I am was a hard core stalker] and was pretty jealous. So it was fun to be a part of it this year!



New Year's Resolutions, anyone?
H and I have a lot of them this year. A few of them are:
1. Write in our journals every night. [See picture below.]
2. Scriptures and prayer every night.
3. Go to the temple at least once a month.
[You know... the usual.]

I have always loved to write in my journal, but a lot of the time, I would find my hand getting tired from writing so much. And then I would never have enough time, because I always wanted to write down every single detail. Needless to say, that never worked out for me, and I would eventually give up on it.
When I saw these at Barnes and Noble the other day, I just had to get them. And since I had been bugging H to write in a journal ever since we started dating, I decided that he needed one as well. 
You just write one line a day [about what happened, or about whatever you want!] I figured that even H could do that! And it would be fun to look back at what each of us wrote on the same day!
And I don't mean to brag or anything, but we have both been very faithful so far! [It's only day 5. Whatever. Be impressed.]


And one of my own personal goals this year is to be the best wife that I can be. To actively try to think of his wants and needs, and to put them first. To always show my appreciation for all of the things he does for me, no matter how big or small it may be. [I know I've only been a wife for 6 weeks, but I already know that there are a million things that I could be doing better.]

Another Barnes and Noble find. I'm only on the first chapter, but I already love it and have learned a few things. This book is written by a Christian woman who makes you ask yourself the scary questions [like what  it's like being married to you, or how you would feel if you said/did the things you say/do to your husband.] Like I said, I'm only on the first chapter, but it sure does make you think. Obviously I'm never going to be the perfect wife, but if there are things that I could be doing to make H happier, then gosh danget, I'm going to do them! 



Anyway, happy New Year to all of you! Hope your holidays were filled with love and happiness!

xoxo, Victoria

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