Right before I got married, I had a dear [married] friend tell me "Victoria, you and Heath are going to fight a lot when you first get married. And that's okay. You are both adjusting to living with someone else and trying to figure things out and if you fight a lot, it doesn't mean you shouldn't have gotten married. It's normal."
And I remember thinking to myself, No, we have known each other for a long time and we have seen each other at our worst. We are going to be so happy and never fight!
Okay I don't know what I was thinking... Seriously. Not that H and I fight 24/7, and not that we aren't happy..... But yeah. We fight. A lot more than I originally thought. And most of the time, it isn't ever anything big. Most of the time it's little disagreements where we get mad at each other and then 5 seconds later we are apologizing and making up.
I guess I forgot to put into account that 1. I am extremely sensitive and emotional, and 2. He's a boy. Seriously--most of the time when we're "fighting" I'll say something like "I'm mad that we're fighting again" and H will be like, "Wait, we're fighting?" Boys, I swear...
Like I said earlier, most of our fights are because I'm overly sensitive and H isn't. Take last night for instance.... We are sitting in bed, and I am eating top ramen while H is trying to figure out how to log into our Verizon account. He doesn't know our zip code.
V: How do you not know our zip code?
H: I don't know... What is it?
V: Wow, for someone so smart, you can be kind of stupid sometimes. [Yes, I admit... I probably shouldn't have said that. But he seriously always knows everything. And really, it baffles me that someone wouldn't know their own zip code!]
And then I proceeded to drop my brand new iPhone 5 into my bowl of ramen. And H rolled his eyes and I picked it up, and all the juice was dripping off of it... and then I dropped it in the bowl of ramen... again. At which point H says, "Oh, and you're calling me stupid?" [Totally deserved that one.]
And then I stormed out of the room mad and washed off my phone. And when I came back, I faced the wall [instead of him] and sighed angrily every 5 seconds until I fell asleep. WHICH YOU SHOULD NEVER DO.
And then about 20 minutes later, I wake up to H snuggling up behind me and kissing me, saying he's sorry. And then I apologized, and everything was magically all better.
So yeah... H and I have little fights all the time. And sometimes it makes me sad and sometimes I look at other married couples and think Oh, I bet they never fight! and guess what? I'm wrong. It's normal. And it doesn't mean you don't love each other or that you have a bad marriage. Because I know for a fact that H and I have an amazing marriage. I just happen to be extremely sensitive about everything!
I don't think it matters if you and your spouse/significant other fight, or how often you fight... I think what's really important is what happens after the fight. I think that in any relationship, it's important for you to be able to let go of your pride and admit you are wrong. Before I met H, I had a hard time admitting I was wrong. I was prideful. But when H and I were dating and engaged, I had to learn to apologize first. [Because most of the time, what we were fighting about was my fault. Or because he didn't even know we were fighting...haha]
One of my favorite quotes is this:
This is something that I have to remember every day in my marriage. Yeah, H and I will probably argue about little things for the rest of our lives, but it doesn't mean that we don't love each other. And if we can learn to forgive and forget easily, our lives will be so much happier.
I'm no expert on marriage, but this is something that I feel very strongly about, so I thought I'd share!
Oh, and PS--
I need to talk about my amazing new blog design! Rylee Blake spruced up my blog and I am so excited about it! [Now some of you may judge me for paying someone to do this for me, but HEY. I seriously tried for so long and watched/read so many tutorials, but I could never get it exactly the way I wanted it! So I felt totally justified in paying someone to make it perfect. And I personally felt like it was affordable, too!] Her services and pricing are listed here. [And she even has some awesome tutorials!]
Thanks so much Rylee! :)